My contract is up in about 3 weeks. I currently have nothing lined up. There is something promising at a previous employer, but that is dependent on things outside of my control, so I can't expect anything until it is actually offered.
For now, it's the soul-crushing search for a new job. I feel like I'm in a unique position based on several factors:
- age
- career path
- current salary
- education
Let's start with age. At the ripe old age of 50.5 (but able to play mid-30s easily), I'm not sure what I should be doing or looking for. I know it got in my head a little at the current job, what with all my co-workers 15-20 years younger than me. Don't get me wrong; they were always cool and good to me, but culturally, there were some differences that bugged me a little. Then again, age is just a number, and if anything, it's me with the problem, not them.
With regards to career path, let's just say that I've been very lucky in my jobs the past 10 years. I've been able to get roles starting at MS, then contracting at MS and AWS, and never had to prove anything with certifications or qualifications or anything. Everything I did was based on job experience and in-the-moment working. There was more guidance at the Stores, but when I managed, much of it was improvisational.
At the EBC, it was definitely hive-mind learning. If I didn't know something, I'd reach out and ask questions. Eventually, I was the one people were asking questions of, I was the one bridging gaps and making connections.
When AWS came calling (story for another time), I left the warm embrace of MS/EBC and jumped into the unknown, because of the $$ they offered. I was to be a project manager, which I understand now is just a fancy term for "generic worker." Despite not having a PMP (Project Management Professional) certificate, that's what I was, and there was a struggle throughout the contract. Lots of ambiguity, and severe Imposter Syndrome, but despite that, I made good connections and great money.
Mind you, the money was the most I have ever made. At 50 years old, any job I take should be the "most I've ever made," but relatively speaking, when I'd never made over 6 figures and this job would get me there, I couldn't say no.
As a result, as I'm looking for a new gig, I'm expecting I will receive less than what I make now. I'm OK with that, as long as it's not less than what I left MS for. That said, it leads me into the education bullet point.
If I could do it all over again, like school and college, etc, I still like my English degree. After all, it's what keeps this dumb blog afloat. But after starting work at C&A, I should've invested more time and energy in learning stuff, rather than just doing the job and expecting the place to be around forever. Maybe get certified in something, or invest money in something. I just worked and went home and didn't pursue anything but music (also not lucrative).
And while I was at MS, I didn't pursue anything either, outside of making a lot of great contacts. That's what got me the job at the EBC and that's what has me maybe making my way back. But, if that fails, then it's back to job hunting. And that's where the lack of education comes in.
So much of what is out there is requiring stuff that I don't have. Or there are jobs I can do, but don't pay enough to support our lavish lifestyle. I keep saying out loud that a job is a job and there's no shame in any work that's available, but that doesn't mean I can't be choosy.
Like am I willing to go back to retail or customer service to make $30/hr (if I'm lucky), work nights and weekends? Maybe, if I'm looking and/or waiting for something better to pop up. Part of me wants to get out of tech, get into something that I love, but I don't know what that is.
I LOVED what I did before at MS. Team, people, environment, everything was great. Money was OK, but I chose the 2 birds in the bush, rather than the one in the hand. Though having the extra money was great, I think having the benefits and continued employment was probably the more prudent choice.
However, over the past 10 months, I have learned a bunch. Like what type of leadership I need to be successful. That even though I enjoy writing for fun, it seems my writing skills came in handy for document writing in the corporate world. That I continue to be able to make connections with people, both in and out of my org.
All this to say, I don't know what the next month or so holds. I was offered the MS gig in October. The figure wasn't what I wanted it to be, so I counter-offered, which my contact took as a "no" from me. Regrettably, I did it all via text and though I contacted him immediately upon his response, he had wheels in motion already for some other interviews.
As of now, as mentioned, it is wait and see for MS. I have several FTEs pulling for me, willing to help out in different strategic ways, but ultimately, it could boil down to a rules and regulations/fine print type scenario. Meaning, even though everyone wants me back, the paperwork doesn't permit it. Which could mean waiting until July (fiscal year), but at this point, I won't know more until the next week or so.
In the meantime, it's playing out this contract, celebrating the holidays with the family, moving Haley to WWU, and getting on with things at the beginning of the year.
