Vulnerability is tough. LinkedIn is a "business" website and the old-fashioned side of me is thinking I need to keep it professional here. Nothing too revealing, simply a factual listing of my career accomplishments and moves.
And then I see posts from others and I get inspired. These people are articulate, well thought out and drop really great words of encouragement, enthusiasm, excitement and congratulations.
So I think, what can I post and will it impact anyone? Will it even impact me? No clue. But what know is that when I am around others, I am impactful and I feel like I am one of those that inspire, encourage, have enthusiasm, excitement and offer congratulations.
I write this now because I am wallowing in self-doubt. I have worked since the mid-90s in the tech industry, first at our long-departed family business, Computers & Applications. I closed that business in 2009, after 28 years of existence, started by my dad in 1981.
After that, I looked for work for a year or so. I made it to the top 5 candidates for a traffic control specialist with the City of Seattle, but other than that, pickings were slim. With my brother smashing it at BMW Seattle in sales, he hooked me up with a gig in the service department answering phones and doing front desk work. Three months into that job, I got an interview with Microsoft at the Bellevue Square store and went there shortly after.
The next 10 years or so were spent at Microsoft, with approximately 6 years at the Stores (RIP), and then the last 4 or so as a contractor with the Executive Briefing Center in Redmond. I ended up leaving the EBC last February as I took a chance on a contract gig at Amazon, where they made me an offer I couldn't refuse.
At Amazon, I gained valuable experience as a Project Manager, as well as supporting events around the country. Having never traveled a ton in any facet of my life, I was able to visit San Francisco, Washington, DC, Boston, and Las Vegas (first time!).
As I mentioned, the gig at Amazon was a contract and that contract ended last Friday. Starting yesterday, I am no longer employed. And that's where the vulnerability and self-doubt comes in.
One thing I appreciate in others is vulnerability. I try to be that way with others, both professionally and personally. My dad used to tell me not to be so truthful all the time. Don't get me wrong, he wasn't condoning lying, he was more about keeping the feels in and working through them on his own.
Me? Not so much. I got some feedback at the last gig, which was that I had the tendency to talk. Guilty! I do think I tend to go on sometimes, but that's how I have to communicate. But that's how I've been able to connect with so many of you both here on LI and in real life.
As far as the self-doubt goes, it's all about the job search. With my experiences that I mentioned, I can't pinpoint anything and say, "That's me, a (insert job title here)." Like, if someone asks me what I do, I can't say, "I'm a software engineer/jet mechanic/public speaker/biologist/etc." Everything I did for the past 10 years was all self-discovery and somewhat self-taught and/or learned on the job. Unfortunately, I have not pursued more education outside of work.
Everything I'm seeing for the past several months of job searching is obviously very targeted. They seek the unicorn that ticks all the boxes. And maybe they get that person. But more likely is that they get someone that ticks some of the boxes, which is where I would come in. Business being what it is, the hiring company will get someone that sort of fits. I feel like those candidates will be able to speak to specifics and contributions and such. Me? I have generalities and feel limited in what I have to offer.
I know much of this is in my head. I am my own worst critic, after all. The one thing I have total confidence in in my life is playing bass. I know it, I'm great at it and I'm an asset to any band that I play in. I need that sort of confidence in the business aspect of my life.
Anyway, I write this in order to share my situation, but also to offer encouragement to others out there that may need it. My perspective is good: my family is healthy, I have a home to live in and I have a support system to lean on. That said, I desperately want to work and provide and contribute. Any thoughts, leads, ideas or hellos are appreciated.
