Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Mom is funny

I'm one of those lucky bastards who works with his family. Most of the time it's not so bad. Sometimes it sucks. But, I digress...

We have a part-time employee who works real part-time. As in only when we need her. And even then, it's too much. This woman is just one of those people that's bad news. She's not necessarily a bad person, per se, but she has done some not so nice things. She is also quite nasty. As in disgusting. As in piggish. Greasy. Sloppy. And, best of all, smelly.

So when she was a full-timer, people pretty much made fun of her behind her back at all times. She's one of these people that just doesn't care about outward appearances. Or what people think. Or what matters to others. Gotta fart but there's people around? No problem! Fire away and challenge someone to call me on it! Look up "white trash" in the dictionary, it has a picture of her there. We had told her several times to clean up and she would, if only a little. What was worst was that she would make her office smell. Not rancid or puke-inducing, but a little funky.

Today, I needed to use that office. I knew she was there yesterday, but didn't think anything of it. I opened the door and the smell bitchslapped me in the nose. Unpleasant and thick. Visualize the cloud of dust around Pig Pen from the Peanuts cartoons and you get my drift. Several other co-workers came in and they all commented on the stink. It was pretty funny in its universal ability to disgust.

Anyway, getting to why Mom is funny. She came in earlier and wrinkled her nose, too. I saw her later and she said she called the culprit to ask if she'd left something stinky in the office. My mom. She's priceless.