Sunday, September 28, 2008

I am going to blow a gasket

Here is a conversation I have with Haley on a daily basis.

Haley: "I'm tired."
Gwon: "Go to bed."
H: "I can't."
G: "Why not?"
H: "I don't want to."

Right now, it's 9:00pm. We put her to bed at 7:15. She was up at 8 and didn't rest. She is fall down exhausted right now and is refusing to go to sleep. I have taken away her radio and her night light; she was complaining that her room was too loud and too bright. Now she's complaining that it's too dark and that she can't sleep without music.

She is beside herself. She's sobbing and exhausted. She had a GREAT day today. Much better than yesterday where she was in trouble for being rude and mean. Today, she listened, played well and was the good ol' Haley we all know and love.

I understand she's only 6. I understand she's tired. But we've told her EVERY DAY that being tired, hungry or otherwise is no excuse for being rude and demanding.

I'm afraid that we're going to give her a complex as she gets older that she can't say anything to us or be herself around us. We have no idea where she gets this kind of behavior from. Marci and I have fought in front of the kids, but this lack of respect or ability to mind her parents is infuriating.

It's not so much that she's "bad", per se, but it's more the fact that she doesn't get that Marci and I are the parents and she is the child. Every day she is demanding us to do something for her. We tell her that it's not ok to talk like that and she gets that, but there is a disconnect somewhere. It's like she doesn't think before she speaks or does something.

I get so frustrated because I went through this with Riley. I fought and fought with him and, one day, something clicked with him and now he and I are all good. Haley and I are good half the time; the other half, it's fighting and me saying stuff that I hate myself for saying.

She's locked in her room now, sobbing for us and unable to sleep. Now it's probably out of anger and sadness, more than insomnia. Before, it was her not closing her eyes because she "couldn't". It's stuff like that that drives me crazy.

I just have to remind myself that she's only 6 and I have 30 years on her. I should be able to control my temper and be patient with her, but damn it can be tough.

Knock on wood, she seems to be quieting down. I was just about to go extend an olive branch, but if she's asleep finally, I'll leave her be until later.

Marci met with Haley's school counselor about grief/transitions, and the counselor gave us a bunch of things to read about it. One thing the material mentioned was a possible regression in behavior. Maybe this is that? Who knows.

Hopefully the next time I blog about Haley it's regarding something fun, like the fact that she loves to sing when Riley and I play Rock Band. Who knew?